Check out my contribution to a prominent UK relationship advice website!
Tip #1 – Not communicating
One of the first things I always ask someone in individual therapy when they tell me about something that upsets them about their partner or something they are concerned about is: “Have you asked or told your partner about this?”. Unfortunately, often times the answer is no.
Tip #2 – Arguing poorly
Arguing in a relationship is normal and expected. It is how you argue that can make or break a relationship. John Gottman, a prominent couples’ therapist and researcher, identifies 4 ways of arguing that can lead to the downfall of a relationship. He calls them “The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse”. They include, criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
Tip #3 – Failing to constantly work to build and maintain emotional connection
Partners have to make a regular effort to know one another and support one another. This can be something as simple as a ritualized check in every day about what is going on in your partner’s life and offering support. If a couple doesn’t maintain an emotional connection they will start to grow apart.