Scenario 1: You wake up but part of you wishes you were still asleep. At least when you’re still asleep you don’t feel like this. You feel so sad and anxious that the thought of leaving your bed to use the restroom seems like an impossible feat. You are embarrassed to admit that you briefly consider what it might be like if you just peed in the bed. And almost do it. You know you should probably eat but you have no appetite and forcing yourself to eat anyway feels impossible. Now that you think about it, you don’t actually even remember the last day you ate. You had a cup of tea 2 days ago. Or did you dream that? You don’t know for sure. You still haven’t gotten up to pee. You consider calling your sister to see if she can come over and keep you company. Maybe that will make you feel better. But then you think the better of it because you think she doesn’t really understand how you’re feeling. And she always tries to get you to get up and go outside. You think that she acts like it’s so easy. It’s not.
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Scenario 2: You wake up but part of you wishes you were still asleep. At least when you’re still asleep you don’t feel like this. You feel so sad and anxious that the thought of leaving your bed to use the restroom seems like an impossible feat. But you get up anyway because you have to go to work and your kids are counting on you. You think about eating breakfast but have no appetite. Come to think of it, you barely eat anything anymore. Maybe that’s part of why you feel so tired all the time, you think to yourself. You get to work and open an email from your boss. He wants to talk to you in his office. Oh no, you think to yourself, he clearly doesn’t like the presentation you gave yesterday. You sigh loudly in your office and wonder if anyone is happy with your work performance anymore. Then you forget what you were even doing in your office. It takes you 5 minutes to remember you were checking emails, which you proceed to get upset with yourself about. You get a text from your friend inviting you to go bowling after work. Maybe last year you would’ve jumped at the chance, but it seems like you don’t really have fun doing anything anymore. Your friend gets annoyed with you for not wanting to go. She tells you that you never want to do anything fun or hang out with her anymore. She isn’t completely wrong. You don’t want to do anything you used to think was fun, including seeing her. She tells you she thinks you just need to come even if you don’t want to. You think that she acts like it’s so easy. It’s not.
The narratives above can unfortunately be a daily occurrence for someone who suffers from depression. While no one wants to feel depressed, sad, or down, the good news is there is something you can do about it. There are a variety of psychiatric treatment interventions available to help you manage and improve your symptoms. Interested in having me help you work on your depressive symptoms? Email me at info@rachelpokorneytherapy.com .
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